Self-Reflection.
The musings of a 16-year-old Ryu, who'd probably be revolted at how I turned out less than two years later.
This is one of two articles written back in 2020 that I'm republishing to Substack to preserve the mindset I once harbored (and to show those who follow this page that I’m not dead), no matter how outdated. Archiving your legacy is important.
Oh, and I’m trying to talk more to Ephrom.
Sorry about that, bud lol.
It's been a while since I've made a post like this, huh?
A lot has happened to me since my first (and before this, only) blog post was written back in November of last year.
I'm no longer on Medium or 80% of Big Tech websites, I don't even speak to Ephrom anymore due to just natural progression of life and I'm overall just stuck at home not able to work because of a virus China inflicted on us to avoid taking responsibility for a problem they created.
But this article isn't about me not doing anything with my life for 8 months, it's about an issue that has had grappling in regards to whether or not I was becoming desensitized to certain ideals.
The Beginning
It's harder nowadays to have legitimate debates about differing ideas due to increasing intolerance for those who even want to acknowledge the existence of said ideas. That was the biggest contribution to my shift in political thinking back in 2017, as I felt that simply asking "what if?" questions about Donald Trump and his supporters would get you demonized for no other reason than because you made a hypothetical point about Donald Trump possibly being better than how the media treated him.
In addition to that, in the brief time I was with my dad I finally listened directly to the conservative voices that were consistently demonized in the hyper-partisan leftist media I consumed and came to realize something... I agreed with them on almost everything.
What Made Me Conservative
Tucker Carlson.
Sean Hannity.
Rush Limbaugh.
More importantly, Alex Jones.
What made me completely flip was the fact that I not only listened to the words of the conservative personalities but the messages as well. I heard and felt the passion of their voices when discussing America and the fact that it was driving straight into a brick wall, the respect they had for the president, and the resentment they had for communist and socialist ideology infiltrating the government and those that are supposed to keep it accountable.
The fact that an effort was made to make these perspectives approachable and even digestible made it even easier for me to never look back as I went from a centrist to a libertarian, and then full-on Republican.
From there, a gradual slippery slope began until an "Oh, shit" moment last night which will be saved for the end of this piece.
Radicalization
The radicalization began mid-April 2019 but was mostly subtle things that I just brushed off, but around August is when I looked into the histories of both the Anti-Defamation League and George Soros and started becoming more critical of Israel as both in its status and foundation.
I had already made jokes about the illegitimacy of Israel before but now I was fully informed of the fact and used that as the basis to say and look into more ideas that became more anti-Jew in nature. The Soros and Rothschild conspiracies were always in mind, and so was the fact that the ADL still celebrates to this day the defense of a convicted rapist who was Jewish. That last point is what convinced me Jews were calculated people who commit acts of evil and then claim hatred against Jews to quell any dissent.
While it's true that some people act like this and that it's also true that the ADL is a very malicious organization that intensifies already established hatred, what I needed to realize was that I was becoming something I made clear was the last thing I wanted to be.
Freedom Writers
It's a good movie and watching it for the first time since 7th grade reinforced that to me. It also made me realize why I needed to write this in the first place.
Released in 2007 through MTV Films and directed by Richard LaGravenese, it's an adaptation of the story of Erin Gruwell and how she lifted multiple teenagers from horrible circumstances while also giving them a unique educational experience.
It's also the movie where I had a dose of unfiltered reality that hit me hard last night, with the scenes of Holocaust remembrance and learning striking a chord with me and making me doubt some of the things I've said and shared online.
My views on the Holocaust are controversial to many people, as I am a skeptic of the actual death toll (I believe it to be somewhere around 300,000 or so and not the 6+ million commonly cited) but not the tragedy itself like some of my peers online. Regardless, being reminded of the fact that it not only happened but that the remaining living victims have to live with the divisive ideas I held being executed by more dangerously capable people silently shook me to my core and made me realize I had to address it immediately.
There are no good or evil people, there are no evil religions and there are no evil institutions. What there is however are people who are part of certain religions or positions of power that make both good and bad contributions both personally and publicly.
And that idea needs to be taught to people without shaming them for believing ideas that can be used to justify horrible deeds, so we can prevent what happened to me from happening to other people.
Because when trouble comes to people and they're actively harassed for trying to come up with a way to stop it, harbored resentment will begin to build and will eventually be too rooted in people to make a change.